Ah! Thanks for the summary. I heard him on CBC too, and he totally lost me with his ‘addiction’ to classical music. And the CIO … I don’t know. Babies are people, but they are not adult people. Remember they’re so incompetent at self-regulation when they’re born that they don’t realize their own hands are part of themselves. I wouldn’t let Munchkin cry it out at 34 months old, because *that* will leave her feeling abandoned and uncared for. But at 6 months? It was the only way she could get her sh*t together to fall asleep at night.
Mimi, yes. In his book, the kinds of early experiences he mentioned were way, way more extreme than something like sleep training. I definitely wish he just hadn’t gone there.
I’ve read this book, it’s one of my favorites and recommend it often, would love to have been able to hear him talk. His discussion of pre and post natal brain development has helped me understand my own brain much better, as well as that of my children, and allowed me to be much more compassionate towards myself and others. In the past I’ve always felt less than for not being able to withstand more stress but now accept it as part of my neural wiring.
Thanks for sharing this with us, especially the part about judgments. It’s what I struggle with so much now.
Okay, I’ll take the bait too. Having to work is not the issue with sleep training. In fact, if I were working I might be less inclined to sleep train, because being angry all the time at work is probably less of a problem than being angry all the time around my baby – which is what seems to happen to me at around the six-month mark when my babies start their waking-every-hour schedule.
And in my observation, a baby’s emotional well-being has at least as much to do with getting a good night’s sleep as it does with having a parent leap from the bed every hour to stick a soother back in his mouth. Bub, in particular, was so much happier once he stopped the wake-up-shrieking routine and actually slept for five or six hours at a time.
Bea, yes I agree. Dr. Mate also wrote a book with a psychologist about how important a child’s attachments with adults are, and sleep deprivation and the anger and craziness it causes (I’m speaking for myself here) threaten those attachments at least as much as a little sleep training. I’ve certainly noticed that my son is a lot more agreeable when he’s sleeping well than when he’s waking up a lot in the night.
I heard Dr. Mate interviewed on the CBC, and fully intended to follow up by getting that book, but didn’t. Thanks for the reminder.
Ah! Thanks for the summary. I heard him on CBC too, and he totally lost me with his ‘addiction’ to classical music. And the CIO … I don’t know. Babies are people, but they are not adult people. Remember they’re so incompetent at self-regulation when they’re born that they don’t realize their own hands are part of themselves. I wouldn’t let Munchkin cry it out at 34 months old, because *that* will leave her feeling abandoned and uncared for. But at 6 months? It was the only way she could get her sh*t together to fall asleep at night.
Um, that wasn’t the main point, was it? Oops …
Great photos.
Mimi, yes. In his book, the kinds of early experiences he mentioned were way, way more extreme than something like sleep training. I definitely wish he just hadn’t gone there.
It doesn’t get a whole lot more loaded a topic than sleep training, does it?
Sounds like the rest of his talk was very interesting, though.
He looks a bit Leonard Cohen-ish to me. Great shots, as always.
I’ve read this book, it’s one of my favorites and recommend it often, would love to have been able to hear him talk. His discussion of pre and post natal brain development has helped me understand my own brain much better, as well as that of my children, and allowed me to be much more compassionate towards myself and others. In the past I’ve always felt less than for not being able to withstand more stress but now accept it as part of my neural wiring.
Thanks for sharing this with us, especially the part about judgments. It’s what I struggle with so much now.
Okay, I’ll take the bait too. Having to work is not the issue with sleep training. In fact, if I were working I might be less inclined to sleep train, because being angry all the time at work is probably less of a problem than being angry all the time around my baby – which is what seems to happen to me at around the six-month mark when my babies start their waking-every-hour schedule.
And in my observation, a baby’s emotional well-being has at least as much to do with getting a good night’s sleep as it does with having a parent leap from the bed every hour to stick a soother back in his mouth. Bub, in particular, was so much happier once he stopped the wake-up-shrieking routine and actually slept for five or six hours at a time.
Bea, yes I agree. Dr. Mate also wrote a book with a psychologist about how important a child’s attachments with adults are, and sleep deprivation and the anger and craziness it causes (I’m speaking for myself here) threaten those attachments at least as much as a little sleep training. I’ve certainly noticed that my son is a lot more agreeable when he’s sleeping well than when he’s waking up a lot in the night.